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Feel like something is inexplicably missing from your now adult life? Lack a sense of purpose? No direction? Here's why:
You never got your chance to strap on a golden helmet and brave Olmec's temple in search of some forgotten piece of treasure. If that's the case, you might find yourself relating to any of the following signs:
1. You can't watch this show
Or this show
Without thinking, “I could totally do that better” when the contestants inevitably fail.
2. You obediently follow the directions given by inanimate objects.
3. Whenever you fail at something, you feel like you should get one of these:
Sponsored by one of these companies:
As a consolation prize for trying.
4. You are NOT a fan of amusement park Halloween mazes...
...because you might unexpectedly run into these guys:
5. Which is why you thoroughly check every corner of every room you enter, in case you find one of these things for protection:
6. You know your way around a stripper pole...
Or an electrical pole...
Or you're a pirate.
7. You can get all of your errands done in three minutes or less.
8. You are unreasonably good at Xbox Kinect games.
9. This stresses you out:
Because you are going to have to regurgitate a lot of historical facts from that story you just heard to make any progress down it.
10. You're into CrossFit.
11. You remember obscure animals by the alliterative colors they correspond with.
12. You can assemble Ikea furniture without the instructions.
And yell at someone out of frustration when they can't.
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