John Mayer Resurfaces After Two Full Years, Apologizes For Being A Douche

    John Mayer showed up on today's "Ellen" and explained how his terrible behavior pushed him into hiding for two whole years: "It was a very strange time ... it was a violent crash into being an adult." I hadn't even noticed he was gone.

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    Funnily enough, it's not the first time he's apologized for being horrible. This time he's referencing that short time in which he told Playboy all the dirty details of his sex life with Jessica Simpson, blamed Twitter for Jennifer Aniston dumping him, and talked a whole lot about his penis. Mayer currently lives in the middle of nowhere in Montana.

    An excerpt from the interview:

    John: “It was a really good time. I had to go home for a minute. The plan that originally gets you out high school and your hometown, in front of people. That plan was over. I had done it. I just sort of lost my head for alittle while. I remember one time was I was a kid, I went swimming and I closed my eyes and I kept swimming and swimming and came up out of the water and I was way passed the buoys and the lifeguards were blowing me in. I kind of lost touch and I didn’t want to ask for directions. I did a couple of some dumb interviews and it kind of woke me up.”

    Ellen: “Is that what it is? The interviews? Because you got a lot of attention for the Playboy interview and I don’t know what else but is that when you kind if went, oh, you were not proud of that.”

    John: “Oh yeah, I don’t even remember having a Rolling Stone cover. It was a very strange time and it sort of rocketed me into adulthood. It was a violent crash into being an adult. For a couple of years it was just figuring it all out and I ‘m glad I actually stayed out of the spotlight. Because I think back then I would of said, give me two weeks or like let me get out and do ‘Ellen’ and let me explain myself. It was like no, idiot. Go away be 33 and 34 instead of 28 for the 4th year.”