We just dominated in our Modern Family nerf war game! My team included @Nolan_Gould and @BryanCranston. twitter.com/StarringRico/s…
— Rico Rodriguez (@StarringRico) February 7, 2012
When white butterflies fly by you, it's one of God's many ways of saying "I Love You"
— Gary Busey (@THEGaryBusey) February 8, 2012
DICK TEST: Ladies.... Look at the guy next to you and say.."I wanna suckyour dick." and see what happens.
— ICE T (@FINALLEVEL) February 8, 2012
There's nothing more disconcerting than a cheery dolphin swimming towards you with a crazy huge boner.
— Dane Cook (@danecook) February 8, 2012
Had a Ryan Gosling festival on the flight from LA to NYC, "Drive" and "Ides of March." Should've watched "Drive" twice.
— Official Wanda Sykes (@iamwandasykes) February 8, 2012
OMG a surreal day! two words OPRAH WINFREY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
— octavia spencer (@octaviaspencer) February 8, 2012
I bet Ringo's PR team are jazzed that Paul's also releasing an album this month.
— timheidecker (@timheidecker) February 8, 2012
my lesbian sister is with the same partner now for 25 yrs-my gay brother is with his same partner now for 27 yrs-i'm straight married 3x-
— Roseanne Barr (@TheRealRoseanne) February 8, 2012
DON LIL JON!!! DRINK DRINK DRINK! fb.me/1wn7L49Oh
— LIL JON (@LilJon) February 7, 2012
“@Ructions77: @alecbaldwin Why did u call ur daughter Ireland? Alecâ€Bc she's beautiful but can't manage her finances
— AB (@alecbaldwin) February 8, 2012
will be back in uk next month to see my spice girls,can"t wait,missed them all sooooooo much!!!!! girlpower all the way babay!!!
— Melanie Brown (@OfficialMelB) February 8, 2012
Hate the process of renewing licenses. Standing outside like I'm at the church program w/ my grandma back in 81 freezin waitin for cheese.
— Questo of The Roots (@questlove) February 8, 2012
I'm huge in my own head.I'm also huge with people who watch SCREAM once a week.I'm NOT huge in my own house. They're so over me.
— matthew lillard (@MatthewLillard) February 2, 2012
If I brag tweet it's because I'm excited about my life. I will also tweet about the wicked nastiness in my life.Of which, there's plenty.
— matthew lillard (@MatthewLillard) February 8, 2012
why do you always talk about harry potter? #igetthatalot
— Paris Jacksoη (@ParisJackson) February 8, 2012
I think it's funny that everyone thinks I'm gay. Well, not everyone just my family, close friends, work people and my boyfriend.
— Nick Swardson (@NickSwardson) February 8, 2012
I refuse to put my name on a jewelry line or any product that I deem inferior in quality and overpriced. Bring on the lawsuit.
— Sharon Osbourne (@MrsSOsbourne) February 7, 2012
Bible study always starts my Wednesday with a warm and fuzzy feeling!
— Melissa Joan Hart (@MellyJHart) February 8, 2012
the only time I get starstruck is when I meet MTV Real World stars from the 90s
— Jena Friedman (@JenaFriedman) February 8, 2012
ROTFL. That means you're DEFINITELY rolling around on your floor just giggling away...
— Abby Elliott (@elliottdotabby) February 7, 2012
Cheers!!! @todayshow @klgandhoda @KathieLGifford twitter.com/hodakotb/statu…
— hoda kotb (@hodakotb) February 8, 2012
ThankYou Everyone Soo Excited To Show The World "The PaulyD Project" March 29th On @MTV !!!! #thepaulydproject
— DJ Pauly D (@DJPaulyD) February 8, 2012
FUCK YOU 6am. Hate you.
— eric wareheim (@ericwareheim) February 8, 2012
yeah i spelled because wrong...if your pissed uff unfolow.. please!
— John Cusack (@johncusack) February 8, 2012
Couldn't have faced my 5am Gossip Girl call without these trusty jars..... yfrog.com/h2fe9qnj
— Elizabeth Hurley (@ElizabethHurley) February 8, 2012
TODAY is another chance to be who you want to be!!!
— iamdiddy (@iamdiddy) February 8, 2012
Maybe I am a "premature ejaculater." Or MAYBE I'm a super hero named "Turbo Squirt!" (Don't cry when you say it or it won't work)
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) February 8, 2012
If new Kennedy book sells I'll be very excited about my new one..."I Blew Roosevelt"
— Albert Brooks (@AlbertBrooks) February 8, 2012
"The poor be lazy, whiny complainers.Blessed are the rich for they are the job creators!" - The Bible
— RainnWilson (@rainnwilson) February 8, 2012
Cavemen would braise pork with elaborate sauces right? #paleo
— Ethan Suplee (@EthanSuplee) February 8, 2012
Explaining a dvr to a 3 year old is super fun.
— Adam Scott (@mradamscott) February 8, 2012
Romney just stress ate the Whitmans Sampler he was going to give his wife. #worstvalentinesdayever
— Jessi Klein (@jessirklein) February 8, 2012
Over the years, my chin has accumulated so much soup.
— Mike Birbiglia (@birbigs) February 8, 2012
Kim Jong Un's been awful quiet. Skyrim, I guess.
— Dan Cronin (@croninwhocares) February 8, 2012
Certain bands; stop it. You know who you are.
— Jon Friedman (@friedmanjon) February 8, 2012