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1. A mug warmer to keep your coffee ready for whenever you finally get a long enough break to sip it.
2. A five-piece desk-organizing set, because nothing says, "I handle my business," like color-coordinating the receptacles of your expense reports and ice cream receipts.
3. A personal heater so you don't have to shiver through the day, as you plot how to ascend the corporate ladder until you're the one in charge of the office's thermostats.
4. Or a clip-on fan that's a breath of fresh, white-collar air for anyone stuck in a stuffy cubicle.
5. A lint and pet-hair remover to remove all evidence of your beloved kitten and retake your guise as the Stone Cold Staffer.
6. A monitor riser with slots for your supplies, mug, and cellphone that really brings together your workspace. With this, your head (full of everything you need to get done) will be the only mess at your desk!
7. A time-marked water bottle that sets a hydration agenda for your day. "Okay, I've got a respond to that email at 2:15, right after I gulp a few ounces."
8. A 12-pack of caffeinated chocolate bars to tackle the Mid-Afternoon Slump and get right back into the paperwork game.
9. A cell phone stand so the hardest-working device at your desk finally has its own place to rest.
10. A shark stapler, because you attack quarterly goals with the same ferocity as a shark in a tank full of Accounts Receivable Seals.
11. A sleek screen cleaner stick that gets off the excess elbow grease you must have worked up during that intense session of bookkeeping.
12. A spinning desk caddy you should give a whirl (but not too hard, or scissors and sharpened pencils might fly out of it, aimed directly at your digitally-strained eyes).
13. An extended mouse pad to end the days of Puny, Normal Mousepads being unable to handle how far you want to scroll.
14. A six-pack of cable clips so unplugging a cord no longer feels like unthreading wires to defuse a bomb.
15. A productivity planner guaranteed to keep you motivated and on-task, or you can return it and get your money back.
16. And a five-minute sand timer so you can time-batch your way to even more productivity.
17. A stand-up desk converter to elevate your workstation and turn you into a Tower Of Business (while improving your circulation and reducing restlessness).
18. A puzzle cube for revitalizing your brain during long slogs, or for stumping that one co-worker you never see do anything besides walk back and forth between the water cooler.
19. An adjustable desk organizer that brings all your inspirational books to eye-level, ready to be ignored as you instead spend your downtime at work looking at memes.
20. A planter and business card holder so you can say, "Here, let me get you one of my cards," and give your succulent a little pat before retrieving that card.
21. A four-ounce bottle of peppermint oil for a pick-me-up sniff that ups your Holistic Cred around the office. Anyone trying to improve their life in a natural way, they report to you now!
22. A foldable vanity mirror, because you've got to check your teeth after lunch, but you don't want to get distracted by your own beauty as you're trying to work.
23. A red apple hand cream that every history teacher with ancient hands needs on their desk, like, a million years ago. Give your driest teacher an apple, be nice!
24. An itty bitty desktop toolkit so you don't have to lose precious space to a bunch of Huge Paperclips or Gargantuan Staples.
25. A ladybug desk vacuum for a cute cleanup of the granola you crunched as you were scrolling through spreadsheets.
26. A custom rubber stamp so stacks of paper awaiting your initials can wait a little longer. You'll stamp through them when you're good and ready!
27. A two-pack of hand sanitizer because desks, keyboards, and offices are teeming with germs. You can't rise and grind if you rise with a nose full of sniffles, pal.
28. An engraved name plate so any visitors to your desk can be reminded who the hell they're talking to.
29. And a bottle of Mike's Hot Honey to spice and/or sweeten up whatever you might be eating at your desk, just trying to have a nice meal before it's back to the grind.
Sorry, I've got a few drafts due by 6.
You've still got space on your desk, you know:
- 27 Cheap Things To Treat Your Desk To Right Now
- 37 Things That'll Make You Actually Want To Be At Your Desk In 2018
- 25 Awesome Office Products That'll Actually Make You Excited To Work From Home
- 40 Cute Things For Your Desk That'll Make Work Almost Bearable
- If You Basically Live At The Office, You Need These 26 Things
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