1.
Apple is the most valuable company in the world
2.
Which made a lot of rich people much richer
3.
AT&T has so many customers that its network doesn't work
4.
But T-Mobile is nearly bankrupt
5.
The Blackberry is dead
6.
And Nokia is in huge trouble. When's the last time you saw one of these?
7.
These events are the biggest news of the day
8.
And we all listen to this guy now
9.
Because he basically made a huge iPod touch and it still turned out great
10.
Gadgets got weirdly political, so everyone's a fanboy
11.
Touchscreens are everywhere
12.
And everybody understands what this stuff means
13.
Browsing the internet on a phone is a completely normal thing
14.
And every company has an app
15.
Other phones got app stores too
16.
Just the word "app." How often did people say that before 2008?
17.
We've stopped carrying separate media players
18.
And nobody needs these things
19.
You can't see the band when you go to a concert (but you can watch them on YouTube later)
20.
The company that makes these came into existence AND got shut down
21.
Nobody likes Flash anymore (and it's dying)
22.
We've seen a bunch of famous peoples' junk
23.
We don't look where we're walking
24.
And text messages are organized like emails, instead of in one big list
25.
But we write them in inscrutable symbols, so it doesn't really matter
26.
Oh god, A U T O C O R R E C T
27.
Which means these are the only humans that can still spell
28.
We treat our phones like babies, because they're ridiculously delicate and require constant attention + feeding
29.
And we even talk to them, like actual insane people
30.
But we never make phone calls, because why would we do that?
31.
We're starting to pay attention to where our gadgets come from
32.
And even though we don't have one of these anymore...
34.
Waiting in line is much easier
35.
And we don't argue for hours about dumb trivia anymore
36.
But we can never escape Twitter and Facebook and it's great but its also it's ruining all of our lives (HELP)
37.
Anyway, nobody does crosswords
38.
Because we're too busy hooking up with anonymous strangers
39.
Or because we're all playing this dumb game
40.
But seriously, everyone is a gamer now, and simple casual games have gotten awesome
41.
And it's much easier to keep kids occupied (and all our kids' brains have been permanently rewired)
42.
People pay for software again (just, not very much)
43.
But every big box store is basically just a showroom for Amazon
44.
Every fight gets posted on the internet
45.
All news is instant, no matter where we are
46.
And we always know what song is playing in the bar
47.
Smartphones all look kind of the same
48.
We read the same way we watch TV: with a DVR
49.
We do this a lot more
50.
All our photos look old, and we instantly send them to EVERYBODY
51.
We use Spotify and Pandora instead of listening to the radio
52.
The pooping experience has been REVOLUTIONIZED
53.
This infernal marimba sound is burned into our brains forever
