1. Your roommates always make you take the worst room in the house.
2. You're not very photogenic.
3. Nobody ever talks to you at their parties.
4. And when you throw your own, they tend to be pretty lifeless.
5. People are always blocking your view.
6. And taking selfies right next to you like you weren't trying to do the same thing first.
7. You have trouble keeping a family pet.
8. It's hard for you to remain competitive in today's job market.
9. Floating through the sprinkler just isn't the same as running through it was.
10. You can't go out in the snow without getting SUPER confused.
11. Traveling is no longer a source of mystery and joy, but an unceasing condemnation.
12. Getting in an argument with bae and having her pretend like you're not even there.
13. Sometimes people mistake you for the moon.
14. Realizing you've been talking to your friend Geoff for hours and he hasn't said anything back. And Geoff's a quiet guy — you know that — but still. Even for him, this feels unprecedented, like some great chasm has opened between you that will never close.
