In a new candid interview with Refinery29, Lili Reinhart spoke vulnerably about "heartache" and her experience with depression.
"I couldn't see the light. I was like, I feel like I'm dying. It was fucking rough, and there's no other way through it than just through it."
"I've seen a lot of people when it comes to heartache and grief and breakups, and they try to get that void filled with sex, with coke, with food, with drinking, but the void is still there."
"I took the road less traveled and just dealt with my shit. I had to face my own pain head-on.”
Although Lili didn't mention anything specific, she openly expressed on Instagram the sadness she felt after her nana died in 2018.
She also recently split from her Riverdale costar Cole Sprouse.
The 23-year-old actor revealed she spoke with a therapist, who offered advice she couldn't help but relate to.
"My therapist told me, ‘Your body's going through withdrawal from love. You're used to having this exchange of happy chemicals between you and the person that you're with.’"
"In moments of my life, I have dropped every ounce of pride that I had just to be like, 'Love me. Please take the pain away for a day, a second, an hour, just so I can feel that fix again.'”
And while Lili admits that she's still healing, she's been able to keep herself preoccupied with other projects, like her new movie Chemical Hearts and her first book of poetry called Swimming Lessons.
Lili writes of grief, a broken heart, and more in Swimming Lessons, calling it the "most vulnerable thing" she's ever done...which is probably why she's a little concerned about how the poems will be received.
"I felt the need to write that because I was scared — and I am scared — that people are going to try and create their own idea of what my love life looked or looks like. I'm not saying my boyfriend fucked another woman. I'm saying, I felt betrayed.”
Soon after her Refinery29 interview went live, Lili tweeted these statements to further clarify the topics they discussed.
I would never speak so candidly about something as personal as a breakup. That’s incredibly private. I was addressing my depression.