This Is The Real Reason You Watch BBC Two's "Coast"

    Trust me, you're not watching it to be educated about Cornish 19th Century industrial practices.

    This is why you watch Coast.

    This is why BBC Two decides to broadcast Coast.

    This is also why BBC Two puts Coast on TV.

    YOU WATCH IT BECAUSE OF THIS (just click play).

    Via youtube.com / Coast / BBC Wales / BBC Cymru Wales

    "AAAAAAHHHH AH AH AH AH AH AAAAAAHHHHHHH AAAAHHHH AHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHH (starts screaming) AAAAARRRGHGGGGHGHGHGHHH!"

    You then spend some time wondering whether these cliffs are actually real or not during the opening titles.

    STUNNING EXCLUSIVE ANSWER: They aren't real.

    Hungover, you love watching it because of this.

    And the other real reason why you're watching Coast right now? You're hoping this episode is near you.

    Don't even mention the episodes where they go to another country coastline. You're like....

    Then one week they get SO CLOSE to Aberystwyth but they then they move past it.

    You end up getting really quite upset about this.

    You open and drink a bottle of wine you found by the radiator.

    It could be worse. You could live inland. The people on the Coast get this lovely programme about them and everybody else gets absolutely nothing.

    You've thought that they should make a Coast for all the places inland, but then you realise...

    Shhhhhhhhhhh.... Neil Oliver is now talking.

    The second best presenter on there? This man.

    But you can't wait to see this guy.

    You're impressed when you see these special effects.

    Sexy views.

    A LIGHTHOUSE TO CLEAR YOUR LIGHT HEAD.

    ZOOM IN. SLIGHT ZOOM OUT.

    PANNING. PANNING WILL MAKE IT ALL OK.

    But then all of a sudden this happens.

    That BBC ident comes on again in a hurry.

    And these seas have been replaced by loud jumpers.