1. Jean zippers that slowly creep down with any slight leg movement.
Instead of living life, you're spending all of your time on Junk Patrol. Cheap Mondays, I'm looking at you.
2. Those one-inch deep fake pockets they put in jackets.
And jeans, sometimes. Pockets are a basic human right!
3. Pockets that are completely useless because everything falls out of them.
Your keys, your wallet, your life's worth. These pockets do not discriminate.
4. Underwires that poke out of bras.
The fact that this happens to EVERY. SINGLE. BRA. is kind of telling, no?
5. (Expensive) sweaters that pill a day later.
It's enough of a burden to have to shave our bodies, but now our sweaters need grooming too.
6. Vanity sizing.
Can we have a world summit where everyone gets together and FIGURES OUT WHAT SIZES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE? You know, a standard. Like the metric system or something.
7. The way jeans stretch out and get all big after you just wear them once.
Sag = sad :(
8. The way all T-shirts are basically see-through now.
Really makes you wonder if this is all just part of the "Cami Conspiracy," forcing us all to buy two shirts instead of just one.
9. The way all tops are basically crop tops now.
They are creeping up in more ways than one.
10. The way you can't wear dark jeans without the color transferring to everything.
Crimes have probably been solved by tracing back juke stains.
11. Buttons on the back pockets of jeans.
So much butthurt.
12. The infamous button-down shirt gape hole.
Dressing professionally is hard to do when everyone can see your bra stitching.
13. The fact that clothing tags still feel like an itchy cactus brushing against your skin.
Some things never change. In fact, many garments have even added ANOTHER tag on the left side for maximum discontent.
14. Indecipherable washing instructions.
Nope. Sorry. I don't read CAVEMAN.
15. Or when you follow directions and it shrinks anyway.
That dress that was once the perfect length is now butt-baringly short.
16. Tights that make you feel like a segmented worm.
And then there are the pairs that don't stay up so you have harem crotch. Can't win.
17. The whole concept of "one size fits all."
BREAKING: That's not how bodies work.